All Sex and the City fans will remember that significant moment where Charlotte reveals, “It takes half the total time you’ve dated someone to get over them.” Whether this is the expert tips case or not, let’s be honest: Breakups are hard. How to get over an ex “correctly” is ambiguous and there are several methods that everyone tries in hopes of regaining their independence and moving forward correctly.

To learn more about the best ways to get over an ex, Elite Singles spoke with New York-based relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer. We’ve identified some of the most common methods of getting over a past relationship and asked Dr. Greer for her thoughts on them and which ones are best for helping people move on. If she is experiencing a breakup and looking for how to get over an ex, the answers below will give you a good indication of what will help in the healing process and reassure you that many others are also going through what you are going through.

1) Is it okay to get upset/cry after a breakup?

Yes, it is not only good, but it is necessary. She acknowledges the loss you are going through and feels the sadness and emptiness that comes with it. Crying is a way to connect YourChristianDate with this emotional pain so you can release it and move on.

2) Is cutting off all contact the best way to get over an ex?

Depends. Sometimes cutting off all contact is the best way to give yourself a chance to move on and clear your emotions; however, if the breakup was sudden and you feel shocked, you may need some time to process it with the person and have continued and decreased contact with them.

3) Will spending a lot of time with your friends after a breakup help you deal with it or is it just a distraction so you don’t face the reality of the loss?

Spending time with friends is a wonderful way to deal with the magnitude of your loss. After all, your world had been involved with your partner, and now that he is no longer a part of your life, you will find yourself with a lot of free time. If it’s not full, you’ll feel lonely and the breakup will be even more painful. Allow yourself to be supported by your friends, even if you’re just going through the motions, as that helps you get started on a new beat.

4) Is it helpful to get rid of all sentimental reminders of him/her?

It’s helpful to cut back on reminders, but you may want to keep some as reminders of the time you spent with this person. Take some time before making a decision about what to get rid of. YourChristianDate.com

5) Many people suggest that playing sports/fitness is the best way to get over an ex? What do you think?

That can only be positive! One, it supports your physical strength and energy, and two, you’ll feel more capable and in control because you’re setting goals and taking personal responsibility for your health and well-being. If you already liked fitness, find something where you can socialise and meet new people (for example, tennis lessons, going dancing, cooking classes, etc.). Any new activity where you have the opportunity to learn something new.

6) How long does it take to get over an ex?

That really varies. Some people never get over it, especially if they feel like that person was the love of their life. Other people may move on as soon as they meet someone new and strike up a new relationship. If the relationship ended slowly, and the feelings faded, then it’s easier to get over the person. I would say that on average the time it takes is 3-9 months.

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Dr. Jane Greer has demonstrated the different stages of getting over an ex and what you can expect if you are going through this experience. Regardless of how you choose to go about it, getting over an ex is crucial in terms of opening up your emotional availability to someone new. To form a new partnership, you need to put the past in the past and take your time getting to this point. Many singles sacrifice their attractiveness as a result of a past attachment. Use your breakup as an opportunity to learn about yourself and your relationship desires so you can find someone who is a better fit for your life